You know…

You know, I was kinda disappointed in myself for not saying something I had been planning to say to you the first time I had the chance… And I had the chance… and I didn't do it.

But I did manage to say some of it.

And then I got to stand so, so close to you.

Only for only a moment, but…

I don't believe our lips have ever been closer to each other.

Part of me wishes I had had enough courage to do it. Just reach out — it wouldn't have taken much, you were right there.

Part of me was keenly aware that the kids were “sleeping” not so far away…

All of me is respectful of your boundaries, and wide awake to the fact that I don't actually know where they lie…

And we were in a pool of light, easily visible to anyone approaching from the sea of darkness that surrounded us…

That's why I went, by the way. I've been sort of kicking myself for that, too… Even if I hadn't crossed that line, I had you to myself. I would have loved nothing more than to just sit by that fire with you and chat away until the sky lit up again.

Kissing you? It's way, way up high on my list. Second spot, probably.

But talking to you? That's number one. I always want to know what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours.

So fate (and our friends) had left you to me. And I didn't run, not exactly… but I didn't stay, either. I was worried. The two of us being the only ones still sitting by that fire when he returned? It didn't seem like the best idea, as much as I might have wanted it.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I could have stayed. Maybe I should have.

So, I'm kicking myself. How often do I get those chances? How often do we get to talk, just the two of us?

Nowhere near often enough. So, yeah… I'm kicking myself a bit…

But I'm also remembering those eyes, staring into mine from such a very, very short distance…

Oh, my love. I just love you, so very much. And I fall more in love with you with every new little thing that I learn about you.

I thought I had reached the limit ages ago. Turns out, I'm not so sure that there even is a limit.

Well. We'll just need to make some more opportunities. Our calendars are sadly empty at the moment, let's fix that shall we?

See you soon.

Love you.

Yours,
♒️